Shy, Insecure or Just Plain Scared?

Ever met a skinny gal who says she's fat? Or a smart boy who feels he's dumb? Or the prettiest face you ever saw that, when it looks in the mirror it frowns in disbelief?

Of course you have. We all have.

Interesting how we only need to have a thought or an experience to cause us to believe one thing that we may then go on to believe forever. That is, until we re-examine it later (if we ever get around to it)

My logical self understands and often preaches the need to say kind things, true things and happy-making things about ones self. But what about the things we believe that maybe aren't necessarily mean or hurtful, but perhaps just not entirely true? Do we think about those self-labels much? Do we even care? Why am I ask 'us' so many questions? This is about me, dammit!

I've been challenged a few times regarding the word shy. Some of those challenges were issued by myself, of all the people! I've tried explaining myself as 'outgoing but shy' and 'sometimes a social butterfly with a major side of terrified' ...

So I started re-living moments of 'shy' in my head and tried to pull something out that makes sense. This is what I'm toying with:

• I'm not good at flirting with a purpose (this, I believe is well known and established). But if someone who I have an established relationship with of some level shoves me in that direction, I'm still hopeless, but turned on by the shove and ridiculous attempts. 
• Being direct and speaking what (or who) I want terrifies me. 
• Like many people, rejection is a gross reality and fear. I haven't experienced much of it out of fear of even trying. I'm way too guarded. 
• If you pay or bring attention to me... the kind that turns me on, interests me, flatters me or otherwise makes me feel somehow well-liked, I will blush and behave awkwardly. This isn't necessarily shy. I'm beginning to think it's just that I'm partially socially awkward perhaps. 
• I feel that I'm secure in who I am and comfortable with my body and overall happy, but am starting to see that maybe I'm not always convinced it's ok to feel that way. When someone smiles at me, I lose that security and am certain they have gas as it can't be true that I'd be interesting enough. This is a pretty big reality that suddenly I'm looking at working on a way out of. 
• I like attention. I'm just scared to admit it, because of those things above. I like blushing and feeling uncomfortable. It turns me on. Shh. 

I'm thinking that somewhere, I decided I was something and then chose to use it as the excuse for my beliefs that I am not capable of certain key things within relationships - whether fun and casual giddy sex, a longer term hookup, or something more committed - I hide behind a label that isn't even accurate. 

Damn, sometimes I wish I was not so awkwardly terrified. There is wonderful, sexy fun with my name on it. 

Help a lion out? Where do I even begin to burst out of the fear that I cloaked as shy?