It's Not Easy

Being 'lion' is pretty damn difficult. No, I'm not going to rant or whine. Although, if I was and you didn't like it, I really don't care. Take that!

(no one said I had to be nice)

My world has never felt settled since I moved. There are a lot of realities that it sucks to face, and a lot of fantasies that are far from real. I've blogged before about how the move has been overwhelming, how the 'only thing familiar is me' and that it's been an incredibly difficult journey. I'm not about to say that it's not without its rewards. Just because I can't see the rewards very clearly doesn't mean I can't acknowledge that they exist, and with persistence, more will follow.

Sleeping is dark for me. It's when I think. I haven't felt this way since high school. Ewww. High school. Bleck. Whether just a nap or down for the count and a good night's sleep, I nod off with a fight against the things that make me sad or upset.

The two things I was pretty sure about when I moved (one of them being my job), are not even so solid any longer. (I lost my job!)

So here I am. Trying to muddle through and all that I expected is not at all how I envisioned it. Bitter pill to swallow, but I'll figure it out. Honest.